The bubbles in the bottled water...

My transformation is complete!

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:03:09 GMT

Well less the Hair and more the breast!
Have a good day!

SUPER HUGS to you~

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:20:32 GMT

I have no funny Kerrism story to tell today, although a couple have happened. I don't have a crazy story from the Internet to share, although they are there. What I do have are amazing people in my life.

I think I have been very selfish since being diagnosed with ovarian cancer in Dec of 2008. I really haven't ever really talked about a lot of personal things. If asked I may talk briefly about something giving facts of a situation, or my perspective of a situation but usually it is a very brief conversation. I don't really let on how awful I feel, unless it is really bad. If you were to look at pictures over the last 8 months you would think that I am fine. Even my dearest friends approach the subject with kid gloves which I find funny and sad at the same time. Funny in the fact that oh I don't know what do they think I will break but also sad in the fact that they respect my personal boundaries and that asking about that one might make me upset or angry which might break me.
I don't think that anyone would be a surprised to hear that I am a very independent person and have been since I think I came out of the womb. My mother use to call me her 30 year old 5 year old. I didn't crawl I ran, no bottle for me sippy cup please, you want me to have a princess bike and I want a BMX. I have gone against the grain every time I could/can. My brother and I are polar opposites and I play better in a mans' world then in a woman's world. I give love freely but I don't accept it without a price.

My price is too steep sometimes. I know this I have been working really hard lately on slowing things down making sure that the people that I am with totally know that I am there when I get to spend time with them. To make them feel special and important to me instead of thinking about what I need to do next or where I have to go next. Not an easy task for someone that is use to just floating around from this flower to the next with no need for a foundation; who is more familiar with being alone then surrounded by people who care. We all can't be perfect and I have been working on my double standards lately.

I bring this up because I had a conversation last night with someone I just down right adore. They weren't sure how my treatment was going, how I was feeling and this person I think genuinely cares about my well being. I felt uncomfortable talking about it. It seems like something that shouldn't be talked about but I have never been that kind of a person. At least I think of my self as someone that should be able to talk about anything but I am finding that I'm not.

So this is were the selfish part comes in. I have been selfish with how things are going for me, the torture I put myself through just to ignore the fact that I have cancer. Not my illness, not that I am sick but I have cancer. I have amazing people in my life that have been watching this go on and have said things through out but have allowed me to deal with this the best way I know how. For that I can't thank you enough for the love and support. As freaked out as I get about it I won't change it for the world. For those that give me support that I don't know about thank you so much for your kindness.

I don't feel like I have to float from one flower to another looking for something missing. I do it now cause I want to do everything I can. There is a huge difference and a peaceful calm about it..

And Remember....

make sure to tell those you love that you love them, no matter what...
Make sure your friends know how you feel...
try something completely new everyday...
and have fun today.

I'm Back~

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 21:22:25 GMT

WOW! I have had some adventures but I'm not going to go over the last couple of months with you. I promised that I would write more to a couple people so I will.

I'm going to start with the weekend recap (briefly) and then we will see where we go from there.

This last weekend was not only a holiday but also CONvergence. For those of you that don't know it's a Sci Fi convention....Colleen zip-it! ZIP IT!

If you want to hear all about the weird world and hear me say things like
"Nothing's better then Zombie Snot"
"I taste better then Earl"
"I'm a crazy horse that can't be broken"
and my favorite "Fuck a Duck"

then listen to this nice little podcast we call The Scope. There are funny things called into the shows vm line for their 76th episode. If you are really nice and listen to 12:57-15:58 you will here me explain a lot of what happened to me Friday night. It was interesting to say the least.

Today has sucked but it's all work related so BORING!

My commitment is to post at least three times a week for 6 months. Let's see how long that lasts. I do have lots of fun and interesting things coming up like GREENDAY CONCERT, Trips to MO, FL, CA, Duluth, and NYC, there is the State Fair, Ren Fest, a Ren Fest wedding, another 40th b-day party, and my favorite day in the world AUG 1st. So stay on the edge of your chairs....okay whom am I kidding!

And Remember....

make sure to tell those you love that you love them, no matter what...
Make sure your friends know how you feel...
try something completely new everyday...
and have fun today.

Local Paper

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:15:25 GMT

This Week Newspaper (local paper carried the show)

I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 17:51:11 GMT

What have I been doing? Not as much as I would like but enough that I am exhasted all the time. A lot of my time has been working on my newest show.

I am very proud of this show. The cast is very talented. Darcy the music director is fantastic. I am going to say it the set looks AWESOME. I did design it and all the peices actually change into something else. I have a concept and I didn't even know it. I will take pictures as soon as it is up.

We have a couple board members come and preview it the other night. One was laughing so hard that he choked and needed water. The other was crying so hard from laughter that we needed to give her a minute and a tissue.

For the first time with Chameleon we are doing lighting effects which is to show the level of designers that we have on this show. I have learned a lot from someone who does lighting for huge stuff for Target Corp, and big shows around the country for a living.

Until I get better this will be my last show. I backed out of Cabraet and really should have this one too but I am glad that Gary let me stay on and I got to do what I wanted. I got to design the post card, design the set, work very closly with my designers to make sure that we are doing the best job that we can, prop design, run rehearsals, design the program, Call the show, run tech, direct on scenes, along with the regular stage manager stuff.

I hope that you come see it. It will be a good time I promise

Dolphin Calf Born Deceased at the Minnesota Zoo

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 21:43:46 GMT

The Minnesota Zoo is saddened to report that a female dolphin calf was born deceased early this morning. The calf was the offspring of 21-year-old "Allie," an Atlantic bottlenose dolphin who had been at the Zoo since 2008.

Dolphin calves face a perilous first year: only 70% survive their first 30 days. The Minnesota Zoo's marine mammal staff and veterinarians had carefully monitored the health of both mother and calf during the 12-month pregnancy. All medical checkups and tests, including an ultrasound performed on March 25, showed the calf was viable at the time.

It is suspected that complications during labor are the cause of death. A necropsy (animal autopsy) will be performed to confirm.

"Allie" is reported to be in good health.

Dolphin Blog

REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 12:13:11 GMT

I may finally understand wyngarde</lj>

I can't believe this one of my favorite things next to Laffy Taffy jokes....possibly ruined...we will see.

Where has Original thought gone?
If anyone touches Duck Soup I will give up movies for good... I promise that!

Katherine Olson Murder Trial

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 01:29:43 GMT

The case of the Craig's list Murder started yesterday. Here is some updated information which I just can't believe...

WCCO

Any Day Now....Allie is due

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:29:13 GMT

MN Zoo Pregnancy Blog

Local Woman in Jail for buying wine in Iran

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 05:36:24 GMT

Story from NPR

REALLY?!?!?!?!

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 14:58:21 GMT

GOLD STAR!

A Florida woman called 911 three times after she paid for a 10-piece Chicken McNuggets at a McDonald's but the fast-food restaurant ran out of them and refused to give her a refund.

Latreasa L. Goodman, 27, made the calls after she tried to get her money back from a Fort Pierce McDonald's and the cashier told her all sales were final. Police released the 911 tapes.

"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one," police quoted her as saying. "This is an emergency."The cashier suggested she choose something else off the menu of equal value to the McNuggets, and offered the restaurant's cheeseburger called the McDouble.

"She's trying to force me to eat something off the menu and I don't want it," Goodman told 911.

The first dispatcher, a woman, asks if there's a manager there, but listens to Goodman's complaints and says she's sending someone.The second, male dispatcher tells her he's aware of the incident and "we've got an officer coming out there to talk to you."

Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. A current phone listing for Goodman couldn't be found.A McDonald's spokesman said Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.

Audio

The Faith Cake~

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 01:47:35 GMT

I heart Colleen!

Yesterday was only the start...

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:10:59 GMT

I had a horrible day at work yesterday and I think that will be status quo for a while. I am transitioning from International to Domestic Inventory Managment. Now I understand that it is a different type of worker and most of the poeple that report to me now have been with the company almost longer then I have been alive... I understand that they don't take well to change and i am known for being a hard ass if I need to be. Knowing all this I really was just going to go in and just see how things happen and what is going on in each of the sites. Figure out where each site fits in and where their strong and no so strong...

I could not wrap my head around the numbers that these folks were giving me and the explanations as to why this couldn't be worked and why that was so old, why we are paying interest on things, and what things we were paying it on.... So I put together a very simple spreadsheet so that I could see the numbers that I need to see how I need to see them and get a better understanding from them.

Goodness did the world end on that one. They (meaning some of the sites) didn't even go to my direct boss they went above him. Saying that I am already changing things and that I don't know what I am doing and too young and just down right mean. That I am not willing to figure out what they do and I will be cutting jobs functions soon. I CAN'T DO THAT RIGHT AWAY ! I HATE DOING THAT! He just said that Kerri needs to see the things she needs to see right now and that they needed to deal with it.

So this AM I got nothing...No numbers from anyone. How fraking immature is that. I got excuses like "Oh I forgot" "I've been to busy" "I don't know what you are looking for" "why do you need that" I could have cried again today.

They are not going to like me if this do this tomorrow...oh wait they already don't like me so I will give them a week and then they really are not going to like me.

Something good did come out of yesterday I got my new phone G1, Google phone. I tried it before and tested some things for T-mobile but now they fixed a few things and it comes in another color now so I picked one up.

I LOVE IT! Smooth interface, very user friendly, apps are easy to find, cool presets, and the open source is easy too. It is bigger then I am use to but I will deal.

I also went out to dinner with theatre people and it was great to see some of them. I haven't seen them since the summer most of them. I got to catch up with Carin, Tamara, Joel, and Anissa, whom is why we got together cause it was her B-day!

OKay how is it that I only meet expection for my annual review..... Goodness I love this company! I have never had a ME I have always been above expectation or Exceeds...hmmmmmmmmmmm Oh Dirk.......

A gift that keeps giving...

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 16:02:31 GMT

a_jaclyn</lj> had this made for me. I love it. It combines so many of my favorite things

Kung Fu Panda
Gary
Kicking
and Me!

Thanks so much dear!

PIC!

Awesome Valentine's weekend

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:14:39 GMT

Friday night I went to Cabaret show opening with Gary's parent's and then went to a friends house.

Saturday I saw Coraline with Nathan. That was very cool and I loved it.

I had dinner with Carrie, Shane and Audrey. It was an amazing collection of tastes and textures. We then watched I Lived to Tell, or something like that and Dollhouse. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet but I will still watch I love Eliza and Amy.

Sunday I slept most of the day then watched AFV, Cars, and We One The Night.

I got tag....

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:25:27 GMT

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.

B. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

1. Where did your LJ handle come from?
The same place as my email from my two favorite Characters in a book that is very dear to me Ender's Game Andrew Wiggin and Julian "Bean" Delphiki

2. If you could live in any book, which would it be?
"Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs"
3. What is making you happy right now?
the game of fetch the duck that Kole and I have been playing for 35 min now

4. What are you currently reading?
Nothing I need to find something

5. Do you need music to study/write?
Oh much more then music I need chaos going on to focus.

6. Of all the people in your life, who is the one person you've you lost touch with that you wish you hadn't?
Willie Lever

7. What is the ugliest body part?
Feet

8. Do you like gender politics?
no

9. What is your favorite movie genre?
I would say Family

10. What was the last thing you ate today?
Coconut

11. What is your favorite color?
Green

12. How much money do you think you are worth?
How can you put a price on my quirky little life.... $4.00

13. What's your favorite food?
Coconut, pea, popcorn

14. Which languages do you wish you spoke?
Farsi, Hindi or French

15. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I don't have many but using the word Funner or being an extremely selfish person

16. Do you have a birthmark?
nope

17. Who was your childhood idol?
Mork from Ork and My Dad

18. Where would you like your next holiday to be?
Grand Canyon or Chicago

19. Who would play you in a movie?

20. What is a daily task you must do, can't deal with not doing, before you go to bed.

Cuddle with Kole

</div>

Thanks stage_door!

My life seems incomplete now...

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:53:10 GMT

www.kare11.com/news/whatsup/whatsup_article.aspx

"Those who do not get satire and parody should stay away from the Internet. It's far too dangerous"

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 19:39:22 GMT

I personally loved the Benediction that was given at the Inauguration (trans below) and think that maybe some people should do their homework before taking offence.

God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou who has brought us thus far along the way, thou who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path, we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee. Shadowed beneath thy hand may we forever stand -- true to thee, O God, and true to our native land.
We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day. We pray now, O Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant, Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration. He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national and, indeed, the global fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hand, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations. Our faith does not shrink, though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.
For we know that, Lord, you're able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor or the least of these and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.
We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that, yes, we can work together to achieve a more perfect union. And while we have sown the seeds of greed -- the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.
And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.
And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.
Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little, angelic Sasha and Malia.
We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.
Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.
Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.
Amen.
Amen.

Okay back to the regular Weekend updates.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 06:07:45 GMT

Well Nov and Dec and Half of Jan are a blur. I did so much and had a ton of things going on that it is too hard to go back and recap. So we will start from here and going forward I will recap my boring life for your entertainment, and my memory.

This weekend...

Friday I was going to go to rehearsal for Cabaret because they were having a Pot Luck and I got invited even though I had to withdrawal from the production for health reasons. I wasn't feeling well enough to be social or extend the energy to go out and a new BSG episode was airing at 9 pm. So I stayed in and watched the new Episode. It was awesome!

Saturday I had to work at the clinic. We didn't have many patients so I went home a bit early and was very tired. I had a lot of things that I could have done but I went and saw a show which was very good. I miss seeing live theatre. Really do prefer it to TV it seems however that in the winter I don't go as much because of the cold. On my way home I received a call from a friend and we chatted for about an hour. I profess how strange I am and he laughed a lot. We seem to have a lot of things in common but not everything so that it become predicable. I love learning about new people but I'm not great at asking questions. I like to know stupid stuff.

I also got a call from a long lost friend and we chatted for about three hours. He was a friend I had in MO and he knew of all the craziness that was my family back then. He got a front row seat to a lot of it. It was nice to chat with him. He really is a great person and I'm lucky to reconnect with him.

Sunday I am here at work with only two patients today it is has been a long 5 hours. I have tomorrow off from work which is great and we will see what that brings.!

Remember....

make sure to tell those you love that you love them, no matter what...
Make sure your friends know how you feel...
try something completely new everyday...
and have fun today.

Stolen from a couple others...

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:21:58 GMT

The first five people to respond to this post (either calling or posting) will get something made by me!
My choice!
For you!

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to repost. We can all make stuff!!

New Dr Who NOT HOT

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:11:35 GMT

Matt Smith becomes the youngest actor to star in Doctor Who.

One Heavy Rant...

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:22:14 GMT

Anytime I'm in a foreign place with lots of strangers who all share an identical (yet completely unrelated) purpose, I start to think I'm in purgatory. For as long as I can remember, I've had a theory that life on earth purgatory, because life on Earth seems to have all the purgatorial qualities that were once described to me by nuns. It's almost like we're all Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense", but nobody on "earth" has figured this out yet, even though it will suddenly seem obvious when we get to the end. Sometimes I think that the amount of time you live on earth is just an inverse reflection of how good you were in a previous existence; for example, infants who die from SIDS were actually great people when they were alive "for real", so they get to go to heaven after a mere five weeks in purgatory. Meanwhile, anyone Willard Scott ever congradulated for turning 102 was obviously a terrible individual who had many, many previous sins to pay for and had to spend a century in his or her unknown purgatory (even though the person seemed perfectly wholesome in this particular world). This hypothesis becomes especially clear inside any airport. It's like a warehouse full of dead people rushing around from gate to gate to gate that they will, if they are lucky, die in a plane crash and leave the purgatory hell that is the airport.- Page 24 "Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story" by Chuck Klosterman

I read this quote and have often thought about a similar thing. I have always taken comfort in the idea of crying for a newborn and celebrating a death. I'm not sure why but I find it comforting until I try for a child of my own. For years I have known that I do want children in my life and have not been adverse to the idea of loving someone that is already here that isn't loved the way they should be or the way I could love them. I get this possession thing in me that makes me feel inadequate because I can't bare a child. Then I think that there is something noble about adoption but that fades to a feeling of guilt because I am feeling noble over some one's situation.

If we are in purgatory, and my raw sketchy understanding of that principal and how it works, really won't you actually be leaving one purgatory for another one? I mean if I try my hardest in this life and this purgatory, to except my faults, value my virtues and be humble; do what is expected of me, bases on general societal terms and one day I "die" or "pass on" and there is like a surprise party waiting to tell me that no, you really don't get to leave... what other options do I have I can't kill myself....

2008 in review

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:38:34 GMT

In 2008 did you:

1. Go to a party? just a few.
2. Try something new? Yes Sci-Fi Conventions, slowing down my world
3. Have someone change your life? Very much so Carrie and Shane, Ryan Heng, Amy, Kent and to many others to mention I really feel that everyone in my life has.
4. Kiss someone? Ummmmmm YES
5. Tell your family and friends you love them? YES
6. Buy something extravagant? My Truck
7. Do something nice for you? Yes I have three big things that I have done for myself Finished my Pilots license, allowed myself to dream big and be loved
8. Do something terribly wrong? Yes
9. Move? yep
10. Go to a concert? Yep to many to list.

Best of the Year:

1. Party: Heng's Birthday Party and Jen and Brian's wedding
2. Show: Big Bang Theory.
3. CD: Kings of Leon
4. Movie: Kung Fu Panda and Iron Man
5. Song:
6. Experience: Heng
7. Concert:
8. Book: A new Earth by Toele
9. Month: Aug and OCT
10.Day: Aug 1 and Oct 4

Worst of the Year:

1. Party: none really
2. Show: no Idea
3. CD: Who cares?
4. Movie: Probably something I didn't see.
5. Song: Don't know.
6. Experience: Trip to NY
7. Concert: N/A
8. Book: Ender in Excil By OSC
9. Month: July
10. Day: July 26

A LOOK BACK
(Answers from last year!)
Hopes for 2008:

1. Predict something that you think will happen in 2008? I will finally get back to school (HMMMMM)
2. What do you hope changes about your country? Hopefully we elect a president that wins the Electoral College too. (YES)
3. What do you hope for yourself? I will continue to grow as a person developing my confidence, meeting new people, and find stability. (YES)
4. What do you hope for your family? That everyone stays healthy and relatively happy. (NOT REALLY)
5. What do you hope for your best friends? That they have a wonderful year, each of them deserve it (PRETTY SURE THAT THIS HAPPENED)
6. What do you hope for the rest of your friends? That they too have a better year.
7. Do you think any amazing medical advances will be made? Yes with cancer and H5N1 (WELL SOME OF THIS HAPPENED)

Hopes for 2009:

1. Predict something that you think will happen in 2009? I will finish "before i die list" - 2 items left on it
2. What do you hope changes about your country? That marriage will be something that everyone that wants to marry can.
3. What do you hope for yourself? Not sure I have more then I could ever wish for.
4. What do you hope for your family? That everyone stays healthy and relatively happy.
5. What do you hope for your best friends? That they have a wonderful year and are healthy
6. What do you hope for the rest of your friends? See above.
7. Do you think any amazing medical advances will be made? I will always hope that this is the year for cancer.

During 2008:

1. where were you when it began: With Carrie, Shane and the gang at Jareds.
2. what was your new year wish? To be loved and it came true
3. how many boyfriends: none really
4. broke up: Nope.
5. have any crushes? TONS
6. care to mention names? really no
7. new friends: For sure to many
8. name them: .Angie Nikki Sarah Mike Jason, Lana, Matthew H wow too many
9. had to say goodbye: Tim R and Amy K
10. missed anyone: very much
11. win anything?
12. best place you went to: WI
13. worst place you went to: New York
14. happiest moment: Xmas eve dinner
15. how was your birthday: calm mellow fun
16. best present: time with friends
17. party? Small yes

New Year's Eve....

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:53:33 GMT

Well I have been pretty sick and am running behind on my NYE post. I will catch that up and what has been going on these last couple weeks later today but for now here is the THE SCOPE SHOW NYE party show.

Here you will find that I don't always giggle just most of the time. Listen to the whole thing you might get a glimpse into the future for me....

Magic Morning Dust

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 10:10:20 GMT

Amy's story
www.kare11.com/video/player.aspx?sid=519872&aid=78109

Amy's Passing
http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=533900&catid=2

"If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach." Thank you Amy.